This is a re-post from 2009 as a Therapist at Imagine Hope Counseling Group.
Usually when I drive, I am in a hurry. But a couple of years ago I read a book about patience (The Power of Patience- a GREAT book by the way!) and I started driving a little differently. I try to take my time along with taking some deep breaths. But the other day I was so frustrated! I was in a hurry and I noticed EVERYONE was driving slow! What was going on? What was wrong with everyone else?? Come on, hurry up! Then I suddenly realized…..hum, maybe it isn’t everyone else, Nat. YOU are the common denominator here. I started thinking about another time, in my car, when I kept smelling something really nasty! Why did I keep getting behind cars that stunk??? Only to realize later it was MY car stinking everything up! I was the common denominator.
I sometimes see this with family, clients, friends, and yes, even myself. Someone is on their 3rd wife, they have been fired from the 5th job this year, and their kids can’t stand them. Hum…What’s the common denominator? It is hard to see it in ourselves. But when we keep running into problem after problem (slow drivers, a stinky car, a stinky marriage), we need to do some introspection and see if maybe WE are the problem. You can only change what you admit. So before being mad at everybody else, ask yourself: “What’s the common denominator?”